What's Creating all the Conflict and What Can We Do about It? Part 2

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February 2006

What's Creating all the Conflict and What Can We Do about It?
Part Two
By ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D., Diamond Associates

Last issue I suggested several reasons why today's workplace is more complex and thus has more conflict than years ago. I mentioned differing management styles, women in the workplace, generational and cultural differences, distant teams and telecommuting, the stress of too many hours at work, our litigious society, and political correctness.

Clearly most of these issues are here to stay. What are the answers? How can we handle these challenges? How can we change those elements that are changeable? How can we mitigate workplace conflict and bring out the best in others and ourselves?

The Solutions

Here are some ideas, clustered because so many of these issues are inter-related.

Dealing with Differences of People in the Workplace

People of all genders, ages, cultures, styles and expectations will continue to work together. We need to provide them with:

A common culture with clearly defined behavioral expectations. This includes policy, procedures, statements of corporate values and culture – and the follow-through to hold people accountable.
Diversity training that teaches how to manage different people as well as how to get them to cooperate at meetings and other group forums. Simple training about food and dress is not enough. The training needs to go much deeper. Trainers need to understand cognitive and communication styles, values around politeness and dealing with superiors, as well as issues of pride, humility, conformity and all the other differences that cause us to treat others differently and to expect different treatment from them.
Acceptance and recognition of the differences, so that we don't try to have a "one size fits all" method of managing.
More attempts to help people clear up disagreements and misunderstandings – rather than passing judgment and deciding who is right and who is wrong.

Distant Teams and Telecommuting

Although the ability to work together from distant locations is of great value to both workers and employers, the challenges of mistrust and misunderstandings must be handled. To facilitate that:

Where feasible, find opportunities to bring people together. My clients often send their American managers to other countries and bring management and supervisory personnel from other locations to the corporate office.
Allow occasional phone conversations in addition to e-mail. At least then people get a sense of the other's personality.
Use video and microphones. With this inexpensive technology, every worker can communicate both verbally and visually with colleagues throughout the world.
Create a system for people to get to know each other. I offer clients suggested questions that can help people get to know others better. Management should encourage personal conversations, rather than discourage them as a waste of time.

Management Style and Hours Worked

When management creates a clear set of guidelines as to work expectations and measures success (rather than simply tracking the time spent), it will be easier for people to know what to do because the parameters will be clear. Then the employees can prove their worth by productivity, rather than by hanging around for hours. Here are some ways to help make this happen.

Publish policy, procedures, values, expectations and guidelines. Since supervisors no longer look over each worker’s shoulder, such documents and reminders are needed to guide behavior.
Managers need to learn how to correctly manage different individuals so as to enable each person to be successful. Some people need more instruction and others need to be left alone to create. Some are more trustworthy and can be relied upon to know their own limits and decision-making authority. Others need to be managed more tightly.
The quality and the quantity of the work – not the time spent – should be rewarded. Managers need to stop the subtle and not-so-subtle remarks about not seeing a worker on a Saturday or early in the morning.
People need to have flexible time whenever possible. Some jobs require attendance at set hours. Most do not. People with young children might want to go home for a few hours in the late afternoon and either return to work or to their home computer after the children are in bed.
Recognize that less is often more. If people get to relax, and have a family life, recreation and pleasure, they are almost always more productive and creative during their working time.

Litigiousness and Political Correctness

We need to stop living in fear and start looking at cooperating harmoniously. I wish employers would fight back and not settle false discrimination or harassment claims. Between the assumption that the "little guy" is always the victim and the employer is always "the robber baron," our fear of fighting back is actually generating more and more lawsuits.

To help turn this tide:

Recognize that lawyers, too, are human and that their advice to settle is often their attempt to be cautious and protect you. Settling might look like a good, short-term decision, but in the long term it can hurt us all because it could encourage frivolous lawsuits. Remember, your lawyer is not always right.
Train all workers in appropriate workplace behavior. Teach them the importance of being courteous to others and of respecting their sensitivities.
When a problem occurs, don't assume the worst. In many cases it is merely a case of one person inadvertently hurting another's feelings. People can often be brought together through conciliation and mediation.
Deal with conflict in its early stages. Don't be like the ostrich and bury your head in the sand until the problem escalates.
Be willing to constructively correct. Do not allow "the tyranny of pleasantness" to get in the way of proper decision-making. We are not all equally knowledgeable or informed about any particular issue.
Consensus or majority rule might work well when choosing the color of the walls, but might not be as effective when deciding on the next product. Aristotle said, "Look to the wise man." Get input from everyone, but allow the most able to make the important decisions.
Have well-trained, well-qualified consultants teach your managers and HR people how to resolve conflict, instead of just training them to find someone at fault and sanction them.

Although conflict is here to stay, it certainly can be mitigated by taking the needs and differences of people seriously and by teaching them about each other and how to work together. Instead of assuming bad will, assume, as I believe is true, that most people are well-intentioned and that most conflict can be resolved through conciliation and mediation. Helpful interventions are far more effective to the individuals involved and to the other members of the workplace than harsh "right/wrong" investigations and litigation. Education, apologies and changes in behavior will benefit everyone involved, instead of merely the lawyers.

ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D., is an organizational development and human resource consultant specializing in people and processes in the workplace. She teaches managers how to manage, and is a professional development counselor to individuals. She can be reached at Diamond Associates in Santa Clara, CA at 408-554-0110. Her website is www.DiamondAssociates.net.